A Reader Asks About Culture Clashes
Dear Pretend Readers:
A sharp-minded one among you recently asked me, “How does one deal with culture clashes within a relationship? Of course, there are many, many possible permutations here, but I’m thinking specifically of British/American couples.”
Pretend Readers, this is a fantastic question because the chances of Pretend Girlfriend being British are very high.
As with most liberal elitist Americans, I think the UK is some kind of holy land of intellectual discourse, a place where everyone smokes a pipe and sips tea and then eats a curry and possibly steals a policeman’s helmet. In a nutshell, everything is better in Britain because Britain is far away from here.
But in reality, your British/American relationship will not last and let me tell you why.
In England, this is considered the height of humor. Or humour.
Whereas this is the pinnacle of American comedy.
Does not compute, guys. It’s just not going to work out. There’s only one thing for it: you must pretend to be of the exact same cultural background as your significant other.
For example, when I finally meet British!Pretend Girlfriend, as soon as we’re introduced and I hear her incredible giggle accompanied by a “Bollocks!”, I will start speaking in the worst British accent ever. And I will continue speaking in that accent until the day one of us dies. Because otherwise, she’s always going to be thinking that I am, in some small way, responsible for Jackass.
wemberlyworries replied:
Rule Britannia!
May 14, 2009 at 11:40 PM. Permalink.
notchka88 replied:
It’s definitely humour.
I guess it’s good to find out that, in re: relationship culture clashes, it’s even more hopeless for those of us who are from a cultural background completely remote from Anglo-Saxoness. Thanks! You’re preparing me for life.
May 15, 2009 at 1:25 AM. Permalink.
GlasgowLesbians replied:
British humour is different to the USA, and so are our lesbians, you should try getting a smile on their face, tough job lol x
May 15, 2009 at 6:34 AM. Permalink.
dearpretendgirlfriend replied:
It’s a well known fact that Scottish lesbians do not laugh. They are too busy being awesome for frivolous flights of fancy.
May 19, 2009 at 12:35 AM. Permalink.
PurpleFluffyCat replied:
Thanks for answering my question. Being a Brit myself, I look forward to welcoming a goodly number of liberal elitism Americans to our shores, and look forward to the funny accents
May 15, 2009 at 1:46 PM. Permalink.
Ellex replied:
*facepalm* So damn embarrassing to be American sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I should apologize to the rest of the world just for being from the same country as Mr Knoxville.
Stephen Fry, you lovely fellow, why can’t I be the gay man who tempts you from your self-imposed celibacy? *sigh* I can only hope someday to perhaps be someone’s Pretend Girlfriend and fool her with my own fake British accent, honed from years of PBS viewing.
May 16, 2009 at 4:09 AM. Permalink.
silke replied:
Well, my dear Americans,
so maybe you have a few bad apples. Poor you.
But you see, I am German. Our only late night talk show host (ever, not just current) stole his whole show and literally every mannerism from letterman and leno (mix and match). Our television producers saw Married with Children and they thought, this is so funny, why don´t we copy the whole thing down to the plots and the actual lines, but with worse actors. Fun!! The only likable German humorist, Loriot, is now 82 years old. Which is why I call him a humorist, not a comedian. Because he´s really old. In fact the only claim we have to a sense of humor is that we used to really enjoy Michael Hasselhoff. So, dear letter-writer, if you ever need to loose your pretend girlfriend, try switching to a German accent. You can learn it here, from the wonderfull and always dead serious Werner Herzog. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7kdDeGXUjI
Silke
May 16, 2009 at 7:53 PM. Permalink.
cadeira replied:
Noooo, I try to convince the dear-letter for quite some time now that we Germans are quite decent chaps.
Now, we DO have original entertainment in Germany. Like, Dr. Molly or DSDS, completely original, completely bad.
Also, what show was that supposed to be? -The Married with Children abklatsch, I mean.
Harald was so much greater as his old bad-behaving enfant terrible persona, now he´s just annoying.
May 17, 2009 at 10:15 AM. Permalink.
Silke replied:
Hi Cadeira,
I don’t remember what they called it. Their title song was Er gehört zu mir, wie mein Name an der Tür…
The sad part is that I recognized the Married with Children episode.
And Schmidt did some truly great things, especially with his former co-host what’s his name. I remember them betting on the color of cars that would pass down a certain street and then just watching that street for at least 10 min. I never saw a better waste of air time. I loved that.
But, thanks to the internet neither of us depends on the tv, right?
May 17, 2009 at 10:39 PM. Permalink.
Silke replied:
http://www.bundyology.com/spinnt.html
May 18, 2009 at 12:03 AM. Permalink.
The Lady 529 replied:
Despite not being British, I grew up with British comedy shows, especially stuff with Fry and Laurie in it. No offense to American funny shows, but I must admit I still prefer the British ones.
And no, we’re not getting into what few original shows we have here. Most are at the very least inspired by British shows anyway.
The Lady 529
May 25, 2009 at 11:08 AM. Permalink.